The serpentine labyrinth of narrow maze-like passages opened up into a large, dimly lit room. Candles burned from candelabras all about, barely illuminating the high room of the mammoth room. In the center, the room was dominated by a raised section and two elevator shafts that spiraled upwards.

The sniper knew up on the next level was where all the good weapons were, hidden about another small complex of hallways. Without hesitation, he ran up to the elevator and waited for the door to open. The ride up seemed longer than usual and he reflexively dove to the side once the door opened, but no shots rang out. He was the first.

Greedily, he swept down the corridors, gathering up all the weapons and armor he could carry and then moved back to the elevator door. He stopped there, at the edge of the hall with the doors barely in view. He dug around the weapons: the bazooka, the split missile launcher, the drunk missile launcher, the heat seeker. He smiled as he drew up the firewall and aimed at the door. It would not be long before it opened, he thought. He waited.... and waited.... and waited.

"Ho-hum." His player said. "Boooooring." He began to chant as he waited and waited, his finger on the "f" key waiting for those doors to open. "How long does this game last?" He asked. "Is it even close to being done?"

His questions were unanswered. Little did he know, below him was a small arms duel going on the likes of which had not been seen for some time. Knowing that the weapons room was being camped and that the elevator was certain death, the other players kept below settling their scores with a pair of pistols or a submachine gun. In fact, sub-machine gun and dual-pistol fueled mayhem in the open area was probably one of the more exciting memories that still lives on from my old Rise of the Triad days. It always struck me as odd that while we were involved in such a gruesome dance of death, that the sniper still kept hunkered in position, hoping for an easy kill.

Games are meant to be played, and that usually means more than watching for a door to open with your finger on the fire key. Most games do not punish you for getting whacked, it is par for the course, after all. Or perhaps I do not necessarily equate winning to fun.

While I will quickly confess some of the more realistic games require a greater deal of caution (such as Rogue Spear), such tactics in other of the more arcadesque games has always left a bad taste in my mouth. No, it is not a resentment over getting sniped by some camper, rather it is more a degree of confusion of those who refuse to play. After all, those groovy weapons are made to be fired from a vantage point different to a board’s various sweet spots.

So the next time you play a game, play it! Don’t sit back in a corner and hope for a sweet shot, that is much the same as going to a dance and hiding in a corner. You go to a dance to socialize, and you go to a death-match to kill and be killed.

Multi-player games are much like real life in a few ways: they are not fair, they do not revolve around you, and they seem to find the worst possible time to crash.

Instead of complaining about how boring it is, change your tactic and have some fun with it. Put the old sniper rifle/mega rocket launcher/BFG away, pull out the axe/knife/side arm, or even your trusty knuckles and wade out into the fray. Who knows, you might not only last more than thirty seconds, but could get a drop on one of those snipers. 

I guarantee that any lurking sniper getting butchered by an axe wielding maniac despite their sniper rifle/mega rocket launcher/BFG will be remembered longer than any sniper dropping said axe-wielding maniac. If that does not liven up your game any and you are still bored, then if nothing else, your contribution to someone else’s kill score may only bring about a speedier end, which brings with it a promise of a new, and better, game. Either way, you may be happy that you did.